Curate Your People List
don’t like when people try to use the world selfish against me.
It’s become sort of an attack on someone to make them feel bad when they really shouldn’t feel bad at all.
If I order some fries and you want some and I don’t give you any, then I’m being selfish. That I can understand.
However, if you’re in my life and you’re making my life worse and I don’t want you in my life anymore then I’m not being selfish. I’m taking care of my best interests.
I wish more people understood the concept that they are in control of their happiness. If nobody else was around and you had nobody to influence you in a positive or negative way, how do you think you would feel?
There would be nobody to compare yourself to. Nobody to judge you.
You would be just you.
How do you think you would feel?
You might think that you would still be in the same state of mind that you’re in now but then you have to think what has put you in that state of mind?
It’s one thing to take actions in your life that cause you stress and it’s another thing to allow others to come into your life and cause that stress.
Sometimes you can’t help it when you get sick or you hit a financial crisis. However, you can control who you let into your life.
I see too many people keep people around that don’t make their lives better.
Call me selfish if you want, but if you don’t make my life better in some way then there isn’t much point in keeping you around.
What I mean by this is that if I’m not happier when I’m around you or feel as though I’m getting fulfillment then what’s the point?
If being around you makes me angry, sad, confused, annoyed, or stressed, then why would I want to keep that in my life?
I only have one shot on this planet so what is wrong with me wanting to have as many happy moments as possible?
But what about family? You have to keep them around, right?
Family might get more strikes at the plate than everybody else but the same rules apply.
Are They Friends?
I used to be the guy that would treat my friends to drinks whenever we’d go out. I wouldn’t buy all of the drinks but my friends were never lacking because of me.
When I didn’t have any money left to buy them drinks you already know what happened.
They weren’t around anymore.
It’s easy to look back and say they weren’t real friends but that doesn’t make the realization hurt any less.
That was the moment when I decided that people that don’t make my life better don’t need to be in my life.
If that makes me selfish then I guess I’m the most selfish son of a bitch around.
Reasons Why You Need to Kick People Out of Your Life
When I tell people that this is my philosophy on life some of them act shocked and call me cold, but when I ask why they can’t really give an answer. It’s like they just assume that it’s a given you are supposed to have some shitty people in your life.
Like the force needs to be balanced.
You don’t go around keeping the food you hate in the kitchen just so there is a balance to the good food.
You don’t keep clothes you hate just so you can sometimes feel miserable in your outfits.
It’s my life and I keep who I want in it.
Since I have this philosophy I figured it would be best if I codified it somehow. Maybe if I could come up with a list of reasons why I feel this way then more people would understand.
Maybe they would even apply to their lives.
1. You Have One Life to Live
You might be a part of a religion that believes in reincarnation and that’s cool. However, this experience that you’re having right now is the one you’re living. You can’t plan on the next one being better.
You don’t know when your last day is and I’m sure you love the quote Live every day like it’s your last but you don’t really follow it.
It’s bad enough that you have to work at a soul-sucking job or sit in classes that make you want to sleep. Life itself will present enough terrible situations that make life not as enjoyable as you want it to be so why make it worse by allowing shitty people into it?
This might sound weird but it’s actually okay to DO YOU.
Some people feel guilty thinking this way because it’s selfish. Nobody is telling you to ignore the people that you love AND deserve your awesomeness. Give them all of your goodness but make sure they earn it.
2. Some People Don’t Deserve You
I don’t know you but I know you’re awesome.
Seriously. You. Are. Awesome.
If you don’t believe that then that’s okay because I believe it.
There might be some people in your life that don’t believe that and guess what? They don’t deserve you.
It’s not easy facing the fact that some people just don’t appreciate you in their lives. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it happens.
There are others that do deserve you so focus your energy on them.
3. You Don’t Have Enough Energy to Waste Energy
Everybody has goals and achieving these goals requires energy.
If you keep people around that suck that energy from you then they are keeping you from your goals.
10 years from now are you going to be proud of yourself for dealing with these people and not achieving your goals?
Every day you wake up with a specific amount of energy. Throughout the day you expend that energy until it’s gone.
It’s why some of us poor a drink at 11:30 am. The energy is already gone.
If you know you need a certain amount of energy to achieve your goals then it makes sense not to waste the energy on people that don’t help with that cause.
4. Good People Deserve You More
There are people in your life that love you. They treat you right and really want the best for you.
When you’re not happy they aren’t happy.
If you’re not happy because of someone in your life then the people that care about you aren’t having the best lives either.
But when you’re happy? Their world is great.
If you want them to have the best lives possible then you need to take care of yourself so you can be happy.
That doesn’t sound very selfish at all.
5. It’s Your Damn Life
Seriously. This is all that matters.
It’s your life. Be selfish for you. Not about materialistic things like those fries. Be selfish about wanting a happy life.
Everyone deserves that.
I’m not sure what’s happening in the image above but I do know that’s what you deserve in life. Someone where you can try to wrap yourself around in an uncomfortable position in a poorly lit room with dead flower petals falling from somewhere.
Who is going to clean all of this shit up?
It doesn’t matter because you’re happy.
It’s Not Easy
I know I make it sound so easy to just drop people. Some people you have a close attachment to because you think of one happy memory or maybe you feel like you owe them.
I can understand that but I promise you that you’ll only sting a little bit when you drop them.
The next day?
You’ll wonder why life is just a little bit easier.
Do you boo, do you.