YOUR WELFARE-MY CONCERN
Good day. Welcome to a new column on this vibrant site. I guess you are delighted about the changes that social media brings. If yes, don’t be perturbed about the social media bill. If not, then you surely have an iota of a conservatism in you, again, don’t be worried, you have me with you.
Solely attached to your interest is this new column that will be consistent in intimating you with didactic stories and narratives that will enhance and sharpen your perspectives about human interests in your day to day activities.
This column will thematically leverage on relationship matters, social activities, religion….
Without further ado, let me relate with you what I learnt this morning from a nonagenarian, who happens to be my grandmother. ( I told you I’m conservative) So we were having this great conversation about the differences between the Marital life of her generation and my generation. However, this conversation might not apply to all but it speaks volume, and also for the benefit of readers who are not conversant with the rich and respectful Yoruba Language. Our locutions are interpreted into the common language; English Language.
Kunle: I understand the place of demonic attacks and their influence, but in some cases, we humans are self destructive. Anyway, most problems could have been avoided in their family, if the father never married two wives.
Mama: No, it was three wives, I heard the first wife died a long time ago, and rumour had it that one of the two wives killed her.
Kunle: Ahh, polygamous family and their wahala
Mama: The same could have happened in our family too. Your grandpa had three wives (I know), and misunderstanding and rancour could not be avoided. I thank my destiny that all my children are alive and prosperous.
Kunle: Thank God (hmm, my grandpa sef, hin no dey tire?)
Mama: My son, Kunle, One wife is enough for you to avoid trouble and have peace of mind.
Kunle: Before nko, I’m not thinking of marrying more than one. But Mama, I’m perturbed about something, do you know that most men in this generation and this century only have one wife but several concubines, and they are not even ashamed of it or hiding it from their wives, when the wife knows, the least she would say is “don’t bring to me diseases- sexually transmitted diseases” as if she had been expecting it.
Mama: “Shocked and with part of her mouth opened like she had never heard it before” she uttered, My son, that is damaging.
“I wondered why her response was short to my long explained bitterness, but she progressed”
You should know, during your grandfather’s time, they had no problem with the idea of polygamy. Mothers will tell their sons to get another wife, for a simple reason; the first wife will soon leave to take care of her new born grandkid(s), during this time who will take care of the husband?, In addition to this, some older wives will even advise the husband to get a young new wife who can cook for him since they are getting old. So it was not a taboo in our days.
Kunle: (my Bible was beside me, I almost condemned that statement, but I wanted to be a good recipient) Okay Mama, but in this our time, even if my wife goes to take care of our grandkid(s) or travel for any course, I’d cook for myself, at least you taught me how to cook almost all the local foods.
(Mama smiled, she seemed to be proud of me)
Mama: Having concubines destroy things. It takes away the fruitfulness and joy of the union gradually.
Kunle: Mama, I have a question, why do women cheat, in other words, why do they engage in adultery while in marriage?
Mama: Hmm, it is covetousness (She asserted without blinking)
Kunle: Only covetousness? Please explain better Ma. (Now I’m so concerned, don’t ask me why)
Mama: When I was young in marriage, and was hawking wares from street to street, men would call me as if to by something but instead they would invite me to enter their ‘parlour'( grandma was beautiful ehn, I saw black and white photos) I wouldn’t enter their sitting room, cause I knew they wanted me to see their affluence and be carried away into their arms, but some women will give in to such. When you are not satisfied with what your husband has to give, you will definitely be swayed”
(Heavily, a breathe came out of me and I wondered, what can a MAN do?)
SUBJECTIVE MORAL LESSON: To the ladies, be satisfied with what he can give you, and if he’s still struggling ( I don’t like using this word) I mean, still trusting God, find to get a job and support yourself and the relationship. And to us, BROTHERS, don’t be slothful or lazy, you can be down for the moment but you will bounce back, but you can’t bounce anywhere without hard and smart work.
Generally Speaking, let us all try as much as possible to avoid these following vices; Covetousness, Fornication, Adultery and Polygamy, they are all detrimental to our relationships and lives as believers (any religion)
So dear readers, I hope you enjoy it, this is the first of it’s kind, next week will bring to you another didactic narrative, be on the look out.
Thank you all, and big thanks to our CEO, Seun Ekemode.
I am Kunle Daramola.