Nobody wakes up and starts cheating. It’s a gradual process.
The Oxford dictionary describes cheating as being sexually unfaithful. And that’s true. What’s also true is, cheating is like an onion bulb, there are different layers and sex is just the final layer.
Thus, the question is:
How Does Cheating Start?
Here’s an example:
James has a girlfriend, he calls her 3 times a day, visits her every weekend, and takes her to the cinema every Saturday. He also facetimes her every night before he goes to bed and that’s great.
Now, if James meets another girl and starts calling her 3 times a day, paying her visits, and starts texting and facetiming her, then James has already started cheating on his girlfriend. It’s a process, the cheating began with the first phone call, the sex is just the end of the process.
In other words, if you meet someone today, and start doing things you and your partner normally do, with that person, then you’re already cheating. Stop it!
Another question is:
Why Do People Cheat?
There isn’t a singular or unique reason for cheating. People are promiscuous for different excuses.
For some, it could be a result of traumatic experiences like child sexual abuse, rape, breakups and so on. Others are promiscuous because they have little or no self-esteem so the only way of boosting their ego is by having numerous sexual partners. Some others cheat because they just can’t keep their libido in check.
The reasons go on and on and this leads to a third question:
What Do You Do When Someone Cheats On You?
When someone cheats on you, you have a decision to make. You can choose to forgive and stay or you can leave and find someone else.
If you however choose to stay and they cheat again, then you should be extra careful, you don’t want to end up with a round-the-clock cheater. You want someone you can trust, someone who won’t throw away your relationship at the faintest sight of pleasure.
Having said that, we shouldn’t drive our partners to promiscuity either. Don’t stop being the caring, loving and romantic person they fell in love with. Loving is hard work and you have to be intentional about it.
Julai is a Writer, Thinker and Marketing buff. Like Mark Manson, she hopes to give life advice that doesn’t suck.
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